Archive for August, 2007
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Friday, August 31st, 2007Isn’t it about time for a God post? After writing dreary how-yucky-is-my-family posts and then woe-is-me-I-can’t-get-myself-to-church, followed by a war post, I think it’s time to re-affirm that God is. Amongst all that is unsettling, all that is so clearly wrong . . .
God is.
This morning during meditation, immersed in gentle light and feeling especially […]
War.
Wednesday, August 29th, 2007A million words. This photograph is worth a million words. It’s from a painfully beautiful exhibit, Eyes Wide Open, organized by the AFSC to illustrate the human cost of the Iraq war. We drove past one of the exhibition sites last week; even from the car, the sight of the boots lined […]
I Confess: I’m a Terrible Church Goer
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007A part of me thinks we Christians should all be like Quakers: simple.
Simple, simple, simple. Do away with the extraneous stuff and just sit down with Jesus. It should be uncomplicated and open, certainly not about big churches and money. And the idea of being essentially leaderless (other than Jesus, of course), seems more in […]
Home Sweet Home
Monday, August 27th, 2007Aaaah. Home. I wish I could say we had a great trip. We didn’t. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t good. Currents and undercurrents and people reacting to one another and then reacting to one anothers’ reactions. Nothing as it seems; smiles hiding competition and bitterness and anger. In this family, a smile is seldom […]
Oh Shit, Family (Or: Family Shit, Oh)
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007Family is such an effing conundrum, a knot of pain, love, regret, hope. What else? Denial. Disappointment. Betrayal. Migraines. Pain. Pain. More pain. Some amount of love (is it?). More pain. Regrets. More pain. A little hope. Pain. One day, forgiveness (praying for this).
There’s a reason I moved far away at nineteen.
So […]
Thirst, By Mary Oliver
Sunday, August 19th, 2007Another morning and I wake with thirst for the goodness I do not have. I walk out to the pond and all the way God has given us such beautiful lessons. Oh Lord, I was never a quick scholar but sulked and hunched over my books past the hour and the bell; grant […]
Forgiveness & The Prophet
Thursday, August 16th, 2007I owe a debt the size of an ocean liner to a twenty year old Sudanese refugee named Elijah.
One day, as I was giving him a ride to his job at a grocery store, Elijah opened his mouth and uttered three words: ”You should forgive.” I had hardened my heart and decided I could not, would not—not […]
Can We Just BE? Hey!
Tuesday, August 14th, 2007Can we just let ourselves be for a change? For God’s sake. . . .
I know there is value in it, but sometimes I think the field of psychology and the self-help industry that’s grown out of it has turned into a poison spreading through our society, making us think there’s something wrong […]
Hello God, It’s Me
Sunday, August 12th, 2007Doesn’t it happen sometimes when we’re not stuck in our heads, thoughts buzzing round and round, that the mind will open right up and everything is spanking clear? It’s like the fog lifting suddenly at the beach and oh, look, there’s water! At those times, I feel God right here and I am right here, […]
Fear
Friday, August 10th, 2007I don’t really want to write about it. A part of me does, but a brain-sized part of me doesn’t. Avoidance isn’t a habit that should be overindulged, so I’ll just, as they say, do it.
Once I was meeting with my spiritual director (a sort of therapist, but the primary focus is on […]