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LGFI: Letting Go (Yes, Again), Friendship, Intention
By gartenfische | January 2, 2008
There’s so much I have to let go of. Including this frantic pace of trying to keep up with everything online.
I’ve been purposefully spending less time at the computer and more time with family and puppy. Since J graduated, she’s been around a little more, which makes me really really happy. And P has committed to spending less time working. So I come back after a few days and feel like I am So Far Behind I’ll Never Catch Up. You’ve all been writing beautiful posts and I haven’t been here to read them. But I want to be more intentional in my life, so I have to let go of Worrying So Much About Everything (like being banned from the blogosphere for not keeping up on my reading and commenting, or missing The Most Meaningful Post Ever by being off somewhere else when it’s posted).
I feel incredibly blessed to have met wonderful people through blogging. I never would have expected that. I hoped for it, of course, but who knew it would happen? And I want to keep up the reciprocity. That’s important to me because we’re friends. And new friends have recently commented on my blog and I want to explore those connections, too. But there has to be balance. Not blogging blogging blogging All The Time.
Resolutions? I wasn’t going to make any, but the new year is a perfect excuse to make some changes. I think I’ll try sticking to a schedule again (that doesn’t sound very resolute, does it?—I think I’ll try—how flimsy). I did it a couple of years ago and it helped. When you don’t have kids at home and don’t have a job, it’s easy to do whatever whenever. But that leaves me feeling unanchored. And a schedule would mean I could put the computer in its place, rather than letting it rule my days. I want to live an intentional life.
And speaking of intentional, I’m also thinking of doing this healthy eating thing (I don’t use the word diet—for one thing, I’m skinny and then anybody who knows me and reads this would think Just as I suspected, she’s anorexic). Anyway, Charlotte posted about this fast which is really about eating healthy. She said, “So, the point of this fast is to create the emptiness in your body and your mind that will allow you to be filled with the presence of God. Along with that come increased meditation and prayer and, as a result, more clarity about the path that you’re supposed to follow in the coming year.” Wow. That sounds awesome. I don’t need to lose weight, but who couldn’t use more intentionality in their eating, especially at this time of year, with the holiday sweets still hanging around? And doing it with the purpose of allowing myself to be filled with the presence of God—what could be better than that? Since I’m doing the yoga practice thing every day this month, this would be a perfect complement. For me, it would be about cutting out the sweets primarily, because I already eat whole grains and avoid processed foods. Charlotte was starting with the beginning of the month (and the year!), but I’ve already eaten several cookies and two dark chocolate kisses today and yesterday was our anniversary and we started the day with a lovely brunch that included hot chocolate and coconut french toast (with maple syrup of course) and continued downhill from there. So I have to decide when to start. I have to psyche up for this, otherwise I won’t stick it out. I just had a stupid thought—hey, we could start one of those ning groups (like the yoga one) for this fast. Yeah, that’s what I need, another computer commitment.
This is a convoluted post and I apologize, but I feel convoluted (this is why I need the schedule and the fast). But I want to say:
I am grateful for you all and to you all for being friends. And, being insecure, I want to add: So if I wander away for a bit, please don’t write me off. I’ll be back.
Speaking of friends:
Tova blessed me on her blog (no link, cuz it’s private), which was so beautiful to me. (She’s always making me cry!) What a blessing to have spiritual blog friends and yoga blog friends (actually, they’re often one and the same) thinking of me. And so cool that this blessing that originally came to me from Jan has now come back around from the yoga sphere. Isn’t that beautiful? I love it.
The idea… it’s a game of tag with a difference, rather than looking inwardly, we look outside ourselves and bless, praise and pray for one blog friend. By participating in this endeavour we not only make the recipient of the blessing feel valued and appreciated, but we are having some fun too. We’re going to see how far the bloggin’ blessings can travel around the world and how many people can be blessed! Recipients of a bloggin’ blessing may upload the above image to their sidebar if they choose to. If you recieve a bloggin’ blessin’ please leave a comment on this thread here so that we can rejoice in just how many blessings have been sent around the world!
It was changed from blessing one friend to three, in case some people don’t do it. So I get to bless again! PoodleDoc, Trent and GypsyGirl: consider yourselves blessed!
Now I have to go walk a puppy—I promised her!
Topics: food, God, yoga, life |
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I hear you about feeling you might miss out on something if you go offline for a while! Due to my WoYo “duties” I am spending a lot of time reading blogs, etc. but I will definitely have to cut back in February.
Intentional eating is a Good Thing, even for skinny people ;-) Have you read “What Are You Hungry For?” by Mary Taylor (Richard Freeman’s wife) and someone else whose name escapes me? It’s quite good.
January 2nd, 2008 at 5:26 pm
YM, no I haven’t read that book. I’ll look into it. The title is intriguing, makes me think it connects emotions with eating, which (I think) is very fitting for many of us, me included.
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:00 am
gartenfische — I’m blessed to know you on the blogosphere. lately I’ve been feeling a little like you, and also a little melancholy, wondering where to go from here. sometimes maybe even, “should I keep blogging?’ I can’t keep up either.
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Funnily, when I tried to go to comment on this post I lost my internet connection! I don’t believe in accidents. I need to spend less time on the computer too. Blogging feeds me creatively. It’s a question of balance I think. I have this problem throughout my life- I tend to be a bit obsessive! If I gave up blogging, I’d find something else I needed to balance. So I’m sticking to blogging, and I’m going to use it as a way to find balance in my life. Last night I had a bit of a breakthrough. I had a post 90% of the way done. Normally I would have pushed myself to finish. But I could feel myself pushing. Normally I’m not conscious of it. And I stopped. I posted today. To my amazement, the world did not come to an end ;)
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Diane, I’ve been questioning whether I should stop, too, but decided to try to be more disciplined about it first and just see. If there comes I time when I should just quit, I believe I’ll know that, and I’m not there (yet).
Painter, blogging is presently my primary creative activity. Blog posts are the only thing I create on a regular basis. I am definitely obsessive, which causes the problem—I don’t know when to stop! This is where I need to insert some discipline, hence the schedule (which I am starting today). Blogging itself isn’t bad, it’s the obsessiveness that can take over and ruin a good thing.
Like you, I try to listen as I’m creating—yes, even writing a blog post—and the times I do that are the times I come closest to saying the truth that I want to get across. When I don’t, when I am pushing to get something done, I can feel it is not quite right.
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Thanks for the bloggin blessing!!
I sure hope you keep blogging. I love your blog.
I am not so obsessive, so for me I write what I want, when I want and thats OK with me. If nobody reads…so what.
BUT…there is always a but isn’t there. But..I can become obsessed with reading and commenting on all my siber-friends’ blogs. UFFF that can take up a lot of time…there is so much good stuff out there.
We are suppose to be building on our yoga practice this month right? Well isn’t patience with ourselves on that list of yamas and niyamas somewhere and self study too and mellowing and chilling out. etc etc
So just relax.. go with the flow. Do what you feel and don’t worry so much about it.
You’ll always be good…we’ll always love you and absense makes the heart grow fonder..right? So if you don’t post for a few days, or if you don’t read all those blogs, just smile and enjoy life and come back when you can.
I do a cleansing fast for 7 to 9 days, 3 or more times a year. Believe me it helps with clarity and spirituality. guess that is why it is a big part of so many religions. It’s hard to explain..you have to experience it for yourself.
I wish you peace, love and laughter
Your friend
GG
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
hey wordpress won’t let me leave my comment
I’ll try again
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Guess it appeared after all
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Thank you so much for the blessing. Take as much time away from blogging and busy-ness as you need. I think I found the quote from your site about subtracting things from ones life to be closer to god. I think busy-ness is one of those things that leads us away from our center and away from God. Thanks again.
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
My dear Gartenfische, What a lovely post this is.
I hear you, I can’t really keep up either and I have made my peace of late with doing what I can.
Balance is so hard to find, but you have the desire in your heart to do so.
Your point earlier that your blogging is your creative outlet is important… Keep creating. See where it leads you. You will find your way.
As for me, you can drop in any time and miss dropping in for awhile… My heart and my blog are always open for you.
So be at peace and find your way dear friend.
Thank you!
January 4th, 2008 at 4:56 am
i feel like you have just written exactly what i have been feeling lately, right down to the healthier eating but NO DIET. i had actually made a semi-commitment to myself to cut out meat and sugar for january to go with WoYoPracMo, but that has pretty much gone out the window. but i guess it is not too late to start now :)
you are a real treasure! i hope you are loving your time with your daughter, husband, and puppy!
lots of love!
tova
January 4th, 2008 at 10:51 am
GG, you’re so wise, and kind. Thank you for the support and encouragement.
Trent, you’re right about the quote. That was Meister Eckhart: God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by subtracting. Amen. Thank you for reminding me! And you are right on about busyness drawing us away from our center and God. I need to really listen to what God seems to be telling me and not just keep plowing ahead.
Fran, yes—I am looking for balance, feeling a strong need to find some in my life right now. And thank YOU for always being here for me, for being such a great friend.
Cranky, No, it’s not too late to start, I just started yesterday. Thank you, and lots and lots of love to you.
Lots and lots of love to ALL of you. Thank you and thank you and thank you.
January 4th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Garten, I’m so glad you’ll keep on blogging. You are a friend in a developing friendship, only to be had through blogging. However, I agree that less time at blogging would be good for me. I so hope you’ll continue to stop in–I find your comments with pleasure each time I see your name, and I love your posts which are thoughtful and inspirational.
I am not making a lot of resolutions this year and instead am trying to choose HEALTH, which is a major effort in all areas of life. Pay attention!
January 6th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Hey, I enjoy your posts. I know the feeling of being “out of” the blog world and all it provides and demands. Just having returned from vacation, trying to get back in my routine, etc.
I like the word intentionality. I’ve been trying to “notice” what’s up inside me and around me. It’s kind of like being mindful.
Speaking of healthy eathing and stuff, have you had a chance to read “Animal Vegetable Miracle” by Barbara Kingsolver. This recent book is about her families year of eating locally either buying local stuff or growing their own. It has been one of the most influential books I’ve read.
And then there’s the poodle. At age 8, the poodle lives pretty much in the moment. I watch him being ecstatic and it thrills me……he is a teacher of sorts and has saved my life at least twice. Maybe he’s an angel?
January 7th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Hey dearie, thanks for linking to me. Wow!
The primary point of the Daniel Fast is to rid yourself of any “extravagant” nutritional desires to create a clean space inside of yourself. I imagine this space lined with greater mindfulness and contemplation … without depriving the body of the sustenance that it really needs. So, in other words, it’s learning to eat without wanting. Or, in still other words, “Who’s yor bread-of-life, baby?”
(I think I’m going to go to hell for that one).
January 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Charlotte, ha! Okay, you said it in a funny way, but it’s still a pertinent question, eh? Who IS our bread of life? And why ARE we so food obsessed in this country?