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Who’s Steering The Boat?
By gartenfische | January 30, 2008
I’d like to share a portion of this morning’s journal entry:
In Becoming Who You Are: Insights on the True Self from Thomas Merton and Other Saints, James Martin explains that we are led to God through our desires.
Martin: The multiplicity of desires leads to a multiplicity of paths to God. [Of course, he is talking about healthy desires, not false-self driven desires.]
This makes perfect sense. It means one’s desires should be paid attention to, not ignored.
The desires I most strongly notice presently are:
- Silence. Slowness.
- Yoga (approaching God through the body).
- Writing (but only from #1).
- Sharing what I learn with others (related to #3).
Then I expanded a bit on the above. But the point is, God is in our deepest desires—they are one of the ways (maybe the primary way) God prods us, showing us our spiritual path.
I also want to share this, because it is a reminder to me, above all, to not judge others’ paths:
But there is a problem with this diversity; that is, the challenge in appreciating another person’s path that is different from our own. While the saints grasped this, it can present more of an obstacle for the rest of us. If you’re a naturally active person, you might wonder about the sedentary life of a contemplative (’All that prayer when there’s so much to be done?’). If you’re of a contemplative bent, you might question the frenetic life of the activist (’All that activity when all God wants is for you to be with God in prayer?’).
A few years back, I was involved in helping Sudanese refugees resettle. Another volunteer soon joined the effort. She was a frenetically paced person. She could not appreciate my more quiet approach. In fact, she once sent me a lecturing e-mail, ending with, “By their fruits they shall be known.” (I thought, yeah, the quality of the fruit, not the quantity.) I couldn’t understand her any better than she understood me. I thought she was uncentered and insensitive. But she got a lot done. She could probably do more in a day than I could in a month. Martin’s advice would have helped both of us. (She even told me she bought a book about praying for your enemies with me in mind—enemies, that’s how we can come to see one another if we do not appreciate, or at least accept, the other’s otherness, and the validity of a path different from our own.)
The truth is, we cannot judge another’s path. It is up to each of us to be true to ourselves and to God. How can somebody else say what that means? God guides each of us as individuals—-as Thomas Aquinas said, grace builds on nature. My nature is quiet and contemplative. That’s simply reality—I cannot rush around, doing and doing—I would feel completely out of sorts (I know, I’ve tried).
For me, it is primarily about trusting God. I tend to be such a thinker that I can analyze any concept to death, getting caught up in buts and ifs (follow my desires?, but what if . . .), rather than relinquishing control. God knows what is best for me; God guides me, and I benefit greatly when I pay attention to that, rather than trying to figure it all out and make decisions based on my own best efforts (which turn out to be quite flimsy and confused, in hindsight).
Thankfully, as I walk this path, I see that these truths are, indeed, truths—yes, I can see God in my desires; yes, I know that God is guiding me—and that leads me to naturally trust more and lift my hands off the steering wheel for longer and longer periods.
Topics: God, Christianity |
January 30th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
We give so much societal reinforcement to busy-ness. And, those of us who crave slowness and quiet are often left feeling like we should apologize. (How often do we hear a yogi say she “only” did a restorative practice?) There’s room for all of us and validity across the spectrum. There’s so much to hear in silence and the different temperaments are like shades of dark and light… each complements the others, and none exist alone. p.s. I’m going to look for the book!
January 30th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Suzi, yes, yes, yes!
I also happen to come from a very competitive and action-oriented family, so I think that’s made it harder for me to accept that it’s okay to be the quiet contemplative that I am.
The book is small, but insightful. I highly recommend it. Being small has its advantages—easy to pick up now and then and peruse!
January 30th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
i was talking with two friends the other day about overbooking ourselves and had to admit that i just don’t over book myself. i always leave plenty of time in my schedule for not rushing and quiet time. it is unfortunate for that woman you were working with that she could not see the value in approaching things from another perspective. while i always have many things in common with my closest friends, i always marvel at the ways that we are different and balance each other out.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
ruminating on this. I often judge myself because I am not a “type A” personality, and I think if I want to be a “successful” pastor, I should be. so we judge others, and ourselves…
January 31st, 2008 at 9:49 am
I try not to overbook myself, but it sometimes happens. It’s hard to say, “I can’t volunteer/have lunch/do yoga because that will make my day too busy.”
Love that quote about multiple desires leading to multiple paths to God. That’s something to ponder. I think mine are almost the same as yours.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Cranky, I don’t overbook myself, either. I have learned that I need lots of time in between things so I don’t have to rush. Otherwise, I get uncentered and feel yucky.
Diane, yeah, judging, judging . . . have to let it go! More and more letting go.
YM, I think it is sometimes hard to not overbook, but I really make an effort. Otherwise, if I’m rushing around I feel like I don’t offer my “best self” to whomever I’m lunching with, or whatever. It is another line to walk—don’t want to withdraw, don’t want to get overwhelmed.
Yes, it seems we have a lot in common in these paths. . . .
:)
January 31st, 2008 at 9:17 pm
As a Quaker, I’ve been talking with another Quaker friend about following the Light (of God) which illuminates our true desires. But we know we need to have time for silence to hear and see the Light. Noticing. Getting nudged by God to follow the Light. This has helped me slow down. So now, instead of being constantly frenetic, I am better paced. Noticing. So when I have a day like this past monday, where it seemed I couldn’t take a break, it feels icky.
February 1st, 2008 at 11:04 am
I love the way Quakers talk about following the Light of God. Oh I love it!
I know what you mean about that icky feeling. Sometimes, life just throws a lot at us and we can’t take it as slowly as we’d like.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:54 pm
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